The Audacity of Silence (and a Silver Lining)

Happy Wednesday, my fabulous people! When I tell you that the past 7 days have been CHAOS, please trust and believe that. But things always find a way of calming down and getting better!

So, I randomly had a LI post blow up. Which is cool, but it came with a few DMs suggested I might be lacking in the "understanding the struggle" department in today's job market. (Context: I said something to the effect of if a company isn't actively pursuing you with consistent communication/clear next steps - you're probably not their top candidate.) I don't say this to be harsh, always providing helpful insights and fresh perspectives. I can’t help but giggle because those who sent messages called me tone deaf with today's climate, wrong, and even an "elitist snob" (my personal fav) - the truth is, you don't know my stories, but decided I will share my worst interview horror story today. I've just preferred to keep certain chapters private... until now. Consider this a peek behind the curtain, with a dose of "you are SO not alone." **Disclaimer: I am not a job coach, just a woman who keeps it real with relatable stories for days, learned a thing or two throughout my career via trial and error and loves to help/motivate people.

Let's rewind to my post-previous-company era, we parted ways in January 2025. My mission was to find a role that sparked joy, not just paid the bills. Something that wouldn't have me operating on autopilot. Something challenging, yet good for my mental and physical health. Next thing you know, my dream company had an opening. It felt like fate and this was ALL coming together. I'd even cultivated a wonderful relationship with their VP who was practically writing my offer letter in her head. I'm so serious, this woman had taken me under her wing and courted me for years to join her team. This wasn't my first rodeo with them either. I interviewed a few years ago, and the feedback was that I needed to bake a little longer before I am ready. However, their interview experience *then* was so awesome, I was elated to apply again. So, as you could probably assume, I went for it. My resume was pulled immediately and had an interview arranged within an hour of applying.

Things were *chef's kiss* perfect. Nailed the first round screen with the TA Recruiter. Second round, I connected deeply with the would-be director – we were practically personality twins... that's how much common ground we shared, and hit it off so well she even gave me her direct line for anything I needed throughout the process. Oh, the third round panel? Slayed it. Then it's time for the last step - C-Level boss. I already knew this person as I've done business with him before. Our convo lasted for 15 minutes because he said his mind's already made up and an offer is coming my way. Could you imagine how excited and happy I was?! Eh, eh, eh... Not so fast. Cue the crickets. One day... three days... a full week. Radio silence. I had reached out to the TA, twice. Weird, wonder why she's not answering now, right?

Against my better judgment (and fear of being that person), I reached out to the manager. Her response? A shocked, "Wait, they didn't tell you? They went with an internal candidate. I am SO sorry, but happy to be a reference, if needed." Ouch. But the plot twist? Their stellar TA recruiter decided BLOCKING me on email and LinkedIn after two follow-ups was a more efficient way to handle things than to just say, "Hey, we went with an internal candidate. Thanks for your time." Right when you think you've seen it all... You really can't make this stuff up. 🤦‍♀️

Do you think I appreciated the ghosting and blocking? Hard pass. Do you believe I should be the one chasing down the feedback of a hiring decision? Nah. Can you imagine how happy I was at first with a verbal offer just to be crushed two weeks later? Sure, I can sit here and blame them for an awful experience. I could say that they wasted my time, energy, and effort. However, that's not the reality of the situation. I, Brigitte, wasted my own time, energy and effort. We can debate back-and-forth of my perceived injustice, but the truth is, I am NOT entitled to their response. On the flipside, they're NOT entitled for me to tolerate their behavior.

Here's the tea: this whole saga served up some serious lessons.

1. Don't Stan Too Hard: That pedestal I had this company on was actually quite wobbly and I got a slight dose of it. Reality check: received. My trust in them is simply broken beyond repair. I value being apart of an organization that values my time, energy and labor - including emotionally, physically and mentally. One that keeps their word. Once I see or experience mistreatment, I know I'm not exempt from being on the receiving end that behavior again and I prefer to distance myself. So, in other words, do you think I'd entertain a future offer? Even if they beg, plead, and chase me down with an offer letter in hand saying I can skip the entire interview process, become the CEO, make a high 6 digits a year, with all the benefits I can imagine and more? That will be a faster "NO. Absolutely not" than Simon Cowell could have EVER delivered to a tone deaf singer on American Idol back in the day. As they are a SaaS vendor, do you think I'd recommend their service to anyone in my network? Ehhhh, I won't say no, but I'd definitely tell my decision-making buddies to think twice and proceed with caution. As they say "shame on you if you fool me once, shame on me if you fool me twice."
2. Don’t Stunt Your Own Growth: This is the part where I said I wasted my own time, energy and effort. As I was so invested in this "dream", I neglected myself by not continuing my projects, self-development, networking and seeing what other opportunities were out there for me. I chose to fully focus on the interview process with them. The harsh reality is no matter how they treated me, they could NEVER be responsible for my destiny and what I should be doing on my own time. It's hard to look in ourselves and realize that sometimes we ARE our own problem. I was wrong for putting my eggs all in that one basket, and not unlocking my full potential. I'm so grateful this experience humbled and motivated me to finally do just that. The relationships I've built, the people I've been able to help, the projects I've worked on, learning/certifications, and the offer I received... I know this might sound insane to some, but man, it was worth it!

Now for the plot twist I hinted at: exciting career news drops next week! And honestly? If that "dream" had materialized, I wouldn't be on the verge of this incredible opportunity. So, thank you, universe, for the redirection. Sometimes, the "nos" are the universe's way of saying, "Hold on now, I've got something better."

I do understand that times are hard, but you will either see the glass as half-full or half-empty. I'm just a person that you couldn't even pay me to see the glass as half-empty. You maybe down, but you're never out, unless you decide that's where you belong. And I'm here to tell you, it's not. Keep your head up and find your path.

Until next time,

-Brig